No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
