Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
