I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
