My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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