but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
