You don't have asthma, your pregnant
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
