It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
