my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
