i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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