Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
