just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
