He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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