I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
