I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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