We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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