My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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