...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
