So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
