Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
