Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize