I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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