Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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