trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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