Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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