he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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