Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
