Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
