She said her name was "party"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
