Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize