"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
