It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
