As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
