So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
