Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
