just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
