Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
