I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
