...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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