Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
