What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
