operation harelip BJ is a go
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
