we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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