how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
