So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
