she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
