Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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