with your own penis?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
