I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
