Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
