therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Actions speak louder than pants.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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