i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
