We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ttyl tear gas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
