I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
