I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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