It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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