i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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