If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
